My Heart

I am not used to post this kind of genre in here (maybe in my other blog previously, this was the subject chosen).


I will not exaggerate on this as I'm still puzzled with what I'm feeling right now. But what i can say here is that my heart is singing, humming... I'm feeling something over there which i'm still protecting it in order not to let anybody's in at the moment.

The history
I must say that the previous chapter has made its finale for more than a year now. But the experience that I had gone through has made me think more than twice before I could decide to whether or not start a new chapter. That experience was creepy i'd must say, coz, i had never gone through with such experience before. Hence, that has slowing down the process of me finding my other half.

Though I'd must say that he has been kicked out from my heart right after a week of my grievance period, fearing of the possibility of experiencing the same kind of 'experience' has made me to come to a decision that living as a single person is far more enjoyable with the advantage of the opportunity to mingling around. So, that's why, I'm still a proud single. But...

The meet-and-greet
I didn't feel any mushy-mushy feelings at first - just like i was saying, I protect myself from having such feeling. But, he's pushing it over and over again, till the pinky heart has opened it's door (though not fully open - remember, it's still under protect) and forcing him to be in little by little (however, the process is in fast-pace though)

The positiveness
I'd guess he got more than what I'm demanding from a guy. Those four criterias that I've been asking from God long time ago (i'd must say long time ago, as I've not been a religously prayer for quite some time which I'm still wondering why). Ok, enough~~

The negativeness
I'm still having fear of repeating the same experience. I'm not sure whether God has given His guidance, His hint...
Another thing is his laugh, of course which I've chosen not to elaborate further on that - it's not like I'm perfect either.


I'm feeling all of the above, today.
Ya Allah, I know that I've forgotten You for so long. But, Your servant here is still asking and praying for your guidance and hidayah.

On last note, if this turns out to be my happiness, I hope that this is the best for my mum as she deserves the happiness of the world~~.


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