Ok, aku main belasah je tajuk entri aku kali
ni. Sebab I've no specific topic to talk about actually. Jadi apa yg mindaku
terpikir masa aku type, nilah yang akan terkeluar sebagai entri aku kali ni.
Entah kenapa, rasa macam hari ni kurang menaip lah aku ni! Official quotation
satu pon tarak kuar. Aku kerja ke kerja dah kerjakan aku?
So, in the end (maksudnya, end of the daylah,
bab now already 7.00pm dah abis working hour, rasa cam my rider lambat datang
so I think sempatlah beranak 1 entri ari ni. Rider eh, bukan driver coz kan ari
tu eksiden? Ingat tak murid2?)
Ok, ulang balik arr as in bracket tadi
panjang berjela, jelak pulak menengoknya:-
So, in the end, I think I better give myself
some kinda satisfaction by rambling about absolutely nothing here, and proving
that I can actually type fast2 you know!
So, nak cerita apa ni?
Eh, apa cerita subject kat atas tu? Boleh
jadikan topic nihh *poyo*
Jawapannya, taklah. Tak bosan pon. Best,
sebab macam2 ideology dibentangkan oleh numerous number of talented bloggers. Mission
accomplished! Finished!
***
Haih, I want to write in English lah. Besides
that I look silly sound silly when I type in Malay (poyo the 2nd time),
I also type faster when the words are actually in English compared to in Malay,
this time it's a fact, bro! Betul, tak tipu! So, the language problem is
solved, but the main problem is still .... - what to ramble about??
Ok, let's talk about ambition in general.
Like, cita2 gituh. Ok, in terms of writing, actually I want to write entries
that are full of facts. Oh sungguh murni niatku. Serious! But, dari mana
datangnya idea murni ni, some may ask. It was when I got myself used to lots of
researches for my assignments; it has hit me that I need to set up a personal
space to ramble around; write but write it right - with facts! Cos every single
facts in the assignment kan kena ada references, or else we'll be punished for
plagiat (sengaja taknak cakap plagiarism kat sini). Tapi, apa jadi dengan cita2
murni itu? Jawapannya - kelaut! Sorry for those who have been following my blog (tak
ramai pun, I know). Memang blog saya blog sengal, sedar diri saya ni. But, I
strongly believe, sooner or later this page will be one of the medium for
people to share their thoughts about some serious issues, be it politics,
religions, races, or whatever that we think seriously. Wah, cita2 lagi! I'm just
being positive, if I may...Sopan, mintak izin gituh...
What's more to talk about regarding my
ambitions?
Besides the writing part, I actually am
feeling a bit despair (ok, seriously this word came out of nowhere)
Ulangan...
Besides the writing part, I actually am
feeling a bit despair comparing my life with the lives of my friends back in
high school. To be frank, I helplessly might consider myself as one of the
smartest pupils in class. The relevance is simple - with less time studying,
with lots of play-play, I could still score. Just imagine if I chose to work really
hard, I bet I am now in London menghabiskan beras kerajaan yang mensponsoring
me study over there! Ok, tak real sungguh! But, serious, I was smart, but lazy.
I was kinda nerd, but slow. I was goody2 but maybe tak ikhlas kowtt? This is
the real fact as far as I know. Proof is; my fellow classmates thought I was
among the 7 or 8 students who got straight As in PMR. Because masa ambik result
tu, 6 and 7 straight As students tu dah revealedalready. So, left another one
more student lah, and they all thought it was me. See the high expectation?
Then, came SPM, my Add Maths teacher thought I was among the A1 scorers for the
subject. Because being the smartest Malay student for that subject memang tak
salahlah Cikgu Sabariah berfikiran sebegitu kan? But, turned out I got A2, dan
budak yang tak disangka2 dapat A1, lelaki Malay lak tu, tercabar saya!!!! Then,
considering that I used to be an SIGS chick masa form 1 dulu, suppose made me
have some kinda high class attitude and oh-what-so-ever stuff that was supposed
mean, I supposed to have some kinda guaranteed successful life just like almost
all ex-SIGSes that I've known. Ok, this is irrelevant fact. Moving on.. Just
imagine, during high school, I was among those students who listened to
Hitz.fm, who never missed a single issue of Galaxie magazine, who listened to
Christina Aguilera, Mariah Carey, Britney Spears, Spice Girls, All Saints and
not forgetting boybands such as BSB, N'Sync, Westlife (I know, lame!) And oh
ter-forgot, Too Phat. So normally, this kind of people don’t you think, talk
English very the very good? At least can understand people talk English la. So,
when go for interview, sure goreng speaking abis lah kan? Then, got hired for
higher post la ---something like that. Ni tak. I still ditakuk lama. Sama je
macam those kerani cabuk once I pernah kenal dulu. Bukan nak downgrade or hina mereka,
but isn’t it seemed unfair that I am similar to them in that sense? Ok, I know,
I know, the music we listen to has got nothing to do with our luck in life! I
know, betol!! But seriously, let’s say when I’m in the office, my lips are
mumbling around (mumbling around???) nyanyi2 lagu2 mat salleh yang most of my
colleagues dunno the lyrics of, kengkadang buat diri ini malu (read : malu,
bukan bangga!). The point is, my lifestyle is different from them. But, I have
to be with them as I unable to see there is any way for me not to be like or
with them. Ok, fakta banyak tak relevan, I know!!
The fact is, it was entirely my fault. I do
not have the skill to living a life. At school, kita boleh become somebody
else. Take me for example. Dulu when I was in SIGS, people thought that I ni
anak load (or at least some of them did). While in reality actually , paham2
jelah kan? So, sama jugak masa me at high school dulu, people thought I
ni smart, but in life, I smartass! In life, I've made bunch of big mistakes,
wrong decisions, wrong turns and so on. So, here I am, way behind all of them,
as proud as a peacock!
Nuff said!
Oklah, I tipu, entry ni disambung setelah I
reached home just now. So, technically I didn’t just type blindly to produce
this entry, I have just sweet and ample time to check and recheck, edit and
re-edit. Sorry guys! I think that’s all for my cita2, later I cita benda lain
pulak.